Healing does not always mean total health. Sometimes for many people it means one day at a time. Dealing with chronic illness and pain is not for sissys. After years of waking up and going to bed in pain day in and day out the person does one of two things. They give in to the pain and give up. Or they get tough. Getting tough is the hard part but it can be done. Pain can be controlled with medications, exercises, therapy, but mostly dealing with it requires faith and hope.
In 2001 my life went from full speed 60 hour work weeks of Directing Nursing Care of 103 elderly or otherwise disabled patients to being disabled myself. A screeching halt to a busy full life is definetly a culture shock. I left one world and entered another. No longer was I in the race of working to heal and help others now I had to learn to help myself. In doing so over the last almost 9 years I have learned better ways to care for those in chronic pain. Not because I learned it in a text book or in clinicals but because I lived it. I know what it feels like.
As an RN the hardest thing for me is to know that no one, no surgery, no medication, nothing can change my condition. It is progressive and by all medical and scientific purposes it will get worse. But, I know a Savior that helps me everday. Emotionally and Spiritually I am whole, I am healed. This temporary body my soul is in is just that, temporary. While I am in it I know my limitations and my life is peaceful and slow. I like that. I don’t mind being at home everyday, I know when I need to rest and when I can do a little more. That in itself is a gift. God has given me exactly the things I need to continue to have a full happy joyful life even in the midst of the pain.
So many people do not understand because for one thing I don’t really look sick. My problems are not visible. I tried for a while to make people understand but I am finished with that. It doesn’t matter whether they understand or not. I know I am not the only one who feels this way or who deals with these issues. Because of Lisa Copen and her ministry at Rest Ministries and Hope Keepers I know I am not alone. I also know there are many who suffer alone and need a touch from you, a prayer, a note of encouragment. Many do not know how to help those with chronic pain and illness the following article written by Lisa is informative and so helpful.
She has given Hope Keepers members the right to share this article on our blog.
Ministering to the Chronically Ill: 20 Ways That Take 20 Minutes
by Lisa Copen
Rest Ministries, the largest Christian organization that specifically serves the chronically ill, recently did a survey and asked people to “List some of the programs or resources a church could offer to make it more inviting comfortable” They have provided a sampling of some of the 800+ responses, all of which could be done in 20 minutes or less.
1. Encouragement emails.
2. Make sure the handicapped stalls in the restroom are functioning and clean.
3. Padded chairs or cushions, room for wheelchairs, and plenty of room for my family to sit with me.
4. Be open-minded about a support group for the chronically ill like HopeKeepers. It would make me feel very special, knowing that there is an understanding of people’s needs that are not always visible.
5. Add more disabled parking, even if they are temporary spots.
6. Educate the ushers that people arriving late may have difficulty walking or getting out of cars and will need some assistance.
7. Ask volunteers to call people with chronic illness just to check on them when they don’t make it to services.
8. When suppers are given, recognize that I may need help getting my meal–or at least understand that I won’t be able to wait in a long line.
9. Be gentle when giving people big hugs. It can topple over or hurt a person.
10. Have a video tape of the service, not just a live web cast. Not all our computers work that well.
11. Make sure that the church doors aren’t too difficult to open or at least have mechanical assistance if they’re unusually heavy.
12. Stop telling me that if I really believed and had faith I would be healed by now. Please don’t insist how good I look, because I know for a fact that I look terrible and miserable that day.
13. Offer me ways to serve within the church that can be performed regularly, but not on a set schedule. I still want to contribute, but I need some flexibility so that I can do a job when I feel well enough to do so.
14. Have sermon notes available so I can listen later or even just review what I didn’t catch the first time.
15. Acknowledge National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. Rest Ministries has a nice book list of top 100 Christian books for the chronically ill. It would make a nice display in your bookstore that week.
16. Just mention chronic illness occasionally! Don’t forget to talk about it in sermons as one of the challenges many people face just like unemployment or divorce.
17. Have Christian volunteers from church that will clean house for small fee. Some have offered to clean my house, but I cannot accept charity yet, but neither can I afford to pay a regular house cleaning service.
18. Help with some of the small costs of providing encouraging books and resources for the church library the chronically ill can check out.
19. Remember how many caregivers are in the church, not just caregiving for their parents, but also for their spouses or ill children.
20. Have copies of sermons for free on CD or computer.
Find over 500 ways to encourage a chronically ill friend in the book “Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend” at www.beyondcasseroles.com
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I know that some days can seem like more than you can handle. Remember that the Lord promises to never leave you or forsake you. Cling to that. Even when you don’t feel his presence He is still there. I tell my 6-year-old son that God is working “under cover.” I know I am each day, especially righr now!
Blessings,
Lisa Copen, Rest Ministries Founder
Rest Ministries Chronic Illness Pain Support
